


Jo Jinho's Certified Not-Fun Time

by Charlie Rotanev (Immerghensi)



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Background Relationships, Camping, Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-05-31 23:58:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15130586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immerghensi/pseuds/Charlie%20Rotanev
Summary: The PentaKids go camping with predictable results.





	Jo Jinho's Certified Not-Fun Time

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching Pentagon Maker and found the ep where Wookie, Jo, and Yuto go into a haunted house and thought this would be a good idea

Yanan takes a step back, recoilong a bit from the sheer force of Hyunggu’s outburst. “What do you MEAN, you’ve ‘never gone camping before’??? That’s like saying you’ve never stayed in a hotel before!”

 

“I’ve never stayed in a hotel…” Wooseok inserts. He runs away before Hyunggu can sock him in the arm for his unhelpful commentary. In his place, Jinho strolls into their shared kitchen munching on a bowl of cereal. Hyunggu grabs him and pulls him into their conversation, breakfast flying over all three of them.

 

“Hyung!” He shouts, shaking said hyung vigorously, “Did you hear what Yanan just said???”

 

“Should I have???” Jinho’s tone is a mix of startled and partially choking on milk. Seeing as this conversation isn’t going to end particularly well or any time soon, he drops his bowl into the sink before being semi-tackled again, this time by Hwitaek.

 

“Yanan’s never been camping! That's like never having stayed in a hotel before! Now we _have_ to go!” the boy all but screams, nearly taking out their eldest hyung’s eardrum. Not that Hwitaek would have noticed, he's still busy rambling about all the fun stuff they'll be doing and how great of a time it'll be.

 

“Why is staying in a hotel the standard for everything?” Yanan mumbles quietly.

 

From down the hall, Wooseok whisper-yells, “I still haven’t been to a hotel!”  This time, Hyunggu tears down the straightaway after him. In the distance, they can hear what they can only assume is a body crashing through the wall.

 

Jinho groans, "This is the greatest worst idea you've ever cooked up."

 

“NONSENSE!" Hwitaek declares, "I think that’s a fantastic idea! A group camping trip. It’ll be nice to get away from the same old sights for a little while. I’ll message the group!”

 

 **Lee Hwitaek** is online!

 

 **Chat** : Cohort of the Trash Children

 

 **Hui** : Listen up hoes it’s time to talk

 

 **Yeo Onehae Manhi Manhi** : I’m only moderately terrified

 

 **Le Dawnie** : Babe as much as I love you I also want to strangle you

 

 **Le Dawnie** : Strangle you in the most loving way

 

 **Koko** : Kinky

 

 **The Prince of Japan** : Don’t ruin the moment

 

 **Possible Mom** : Was it not already ruined???

 

 **Hui** : GUYS JUST LISTEN

 

 **Hui** : Are you guys listening???

 

 **Yeo Onehae Manhi Manhi** : Holy christ on a biscuit JUST SAY IT

 

 **Hui** : Ok ok ok so Gugu came up with this great idea….

**

It’s a balmy Friday afternoon when they load up the trunks and take off down the highway.

Hwitaek and Hyojong flat out refused to be separated, and naturally Hyojong would drag Hyunggu into their car, and naturally Wooseok followed Hyunggu wherever he went, and Shinwon didn’t mind having the party car, so they painted the windows with wash away markers and left. That’s how Jinho ended up there, squished between the two foreign giants with Hongseok merrily driving along and Changgu stressfully attempting to decipher their shitty GPS’ signal. It's not the worst thing in the world- there are definitely more boring and more dangerous things that he could be doing instead of going on an impromptu camping trip with his nine best friends who have no idea what they’re doing. He really shouldn't worry about anything. A camping trip couldn't be THAT bad.

 

And it isn’t bad, not at first.

 

At first, they’re picking out constellations and roasting (read: burning) marshmallows over an open campfire. Hongseok has to give a lesson on how to not set the forest on fire via flinging their burning marshmallows. They play a game called ‘Zoo’ where everyone sits in a circle and picks one animal with a corresponding body position. They set a rhythm using their hands and go back and forth doing their own symbol followed by someone else’s, like a game of ‘bunny bunny’ with extra steps. The first round had normal animals like dogs and cats, but by the fourth round, someone’s pulled a unicorn and someone else is a pangolin. At least twice, Hyojong has gotten on the ground to do the ‘sloth’ move just so he can watch Jinho grumble and get on the ground in the next turn. By the sixth round, Hwitaek is being crushed under the combined weight of Hongseok, Yuto, and Hyunggu while Hyojong is (lovingly) strangling him due to his god-level tomfoolery and they decide it's best to stop before someone is actually dead.

 

With some mild bribery, Hyunggu managed to convince the others to let him teach them classic summer camp songs, which is why at the moment both Wooseok and Yanan are standing atop the picnic table screaming,

“SECOND VERSE!

SAME AS THE FIRST!

A LITTLE BIT LOUDER AND A WHOLE LOT WORSE!”

 Hyunggu laugh-screams with them whilst violently playing the ukulele. Wooseok and Yanan scream entire ‘little red wagon’ song with incredible conviction, and really, what did they do to deserve such an eardrum-wrecking performance?

 

And then…

And _then_ ….

It happens.

 

“Have you heard about the weird stuff that happens out here?” Changgu asks casually, and oh no, Jinho thinks the fuck not, because they agreed post- Pool Noodle T-Rex Suit Incident that there would be no more scary stories.

 

But of course, Yuto takes the bait and snaps his head around Exorcist-style in surprise. “ _WHAT_.”

 

“Yeah," he shrugs, "there’s a story about this place. Nothing crazy, it’s just something I heard from my friends who went out here. It probably isn’t even real.”

 

With those words, the Scaredy Cat Line jumps to action. Hwitaek literally climbs into Wooseok’s lap while Hyojong climbs into Yanan’s. Yuto attempts to climb into Hyunggu’s lap with mixed results, so he settles for wrapping himself around the younger like a boa. “Your friends???”

 

“Mhmm.” Changgu nods, getting into prime storytelling position, “They went camping out here once, it was a few years ago though. Anyhow, they were out here one night and they said they had an... _unusual_ encounter.”

 

“....with?????” Though he’s never considered himself part of the Scaredies, Jinho’s not entirely sure when he climbed into Hongseok’s lap. There’s no chance in hell he’s getting out of it now though.

 

“Well, let me start from the beginning...

 

“ A long, long time ago, back when everyone was still fighting one another and there were tribes, there were two tribes who were fighting here, over this land. They fought, and a lot of people died, but eventually one of them won and that was that.

 

“Until the other tribe vanished without a trace. Tribes went missing a lot, and it wasn’t like anyone was paying attention to them, so no one really minded it for a while. But then.. People started to pass through the area. They all recounted the same, strange occurrence- on one side of the forest, it would rain, while the other side stayed completely dry. And every time it rained like this, there would be eerie lights which were the souls of the dead tribespeople. That’s where what my friends told me comes in.

 

“They were camping out there, and they didn’t really believe in it because I mean- come on- it was just a story, right? Anyhow, they were hiking out there, and as soon as they crossed one part of this same forest, it started to rain. They thought it was odd, so they went back, and--"

 

"It was only on one side???" Hyojong gasps, now next to Hwitaek in Wooseok's lap.

 

Changgu nods solemnly. "Only one side. Then, they saw some lights in the distance, and they thought it was other campers. But then, as they got closer, they realized that the lights didn’t belong to people, but they were in the _shape_ of people. It was some sort of dull pulsing. They all started to seriously freak out 'cuz they got this uneasy feeling- sort of like when your neighbors are having a house party and they’re playing the music so loud that you can feel the bass but you can’t actually hear it.

 

“So now they’re running away. They get this feeling, they see these light-people, and one of them lets out this god-awful sound like they’re dying, and my friends take off at lightning speeds. The lost one of their friends along the way--”

 

Shinwon, now also partially in Wooseok's lab, pops his head up. “And they were never found???”

 

“No, they came back in the morning and found him passed out inside a thornbush. Luckily he wasn’t badly hurt, but they don’t like to mention it because it freaks him out still. The hospital found some minor bruises on him, like someone had grabbed him, but yeah- other than that he was fine.”

 

By the time he’s finished, the kids have all migrated to Wooseok, who is struggling to breath.

 

“And _why_ are we out here again???” Jinho yelps as he's forcefully pushed off Wooseok.

But Changgu just shrugs, like he didn't just make the awful decision to scare the pants off of them. “Come on, they probably just made it up. Besides- there isn’t really anywhere else for us to camp, is there?”

 

Shinwon scratches his head, nervous. As much as they'd all like to say they aren't afraid of anything, they still needed help in the Spooky Time department. “I mean…. Yeah…”

 

“Come on, let's just get ready for bed- I’m sure there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Hwitaek says, and for a second Jinho can’t tell if the other boy is so sure himself.

 

“Of course…. Of course there isn’t…”

**

“Goodnight everyone!” Yanan chirps from the end tent.

 

“IS YOUR BED MADE???” Shinwon yells to no one in particular.

 

“IS YOUR SWEATER ON???” Yuto responds.

“DO YOU WANNA???” Hwitaek screeches in turn.

“LIKE YOU KNOW I DOoooOOOOoooOOOO???” Both Changgu and Hyunggu sing as loud as they can with no regard for being on tune.  

 

“SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!!!” Jinho yells back at them, effectively shutting them up.

 

About twenty minutes later, Wooseok can’t go to sleep. The body next to him keeps fidgeting. He’s gotta be restless, he thinks- it’s either that or something serious is going on behind him.

 

“Yuto, are you ok? What’s wrong?” He asks, shining the light from his phone so he can see.

 

“Nothing, I just gotta pee.”

 

Wooseok looks at him, then at the door, then back. “...then go…?”

 

The other boy mumbles something unintelligible. A shade of ‘embarrassment red’ starts to seep into his skin, and Wooseok yells way louder than he should, “Dude are you afraid?!”

 

Yuto jumps onto Wooseok to cover his mouth, bringing them both onto the ground on top of Yanan. Shinwon piles on top just for fun, because it’s always fun to not be at the bottom of the pile and ouch, does Yanan wish the bottom wasn’t him.

 

“Shut UP!” He hisses, but they can hear someone (probably Hyojong) snickering from the next tent over.

 

“If you’re really that scared, take someone with you.” Wooseok says, attemping to roll over but being pulled back immediately.

 

“That’s what I was gonna ask you!” Yuto hisses. Wooseok looks at him like he's got three heads, reeling back.

 

“Oh HECK no, I’m not going with you!”

 

“What do you MEAN, you’re not gonna go with me?! You just suggested I take someone with me!!!”

 

“Yeah, but I didn't mean me! I’m not tryna die out there!”

 

“Don’t say things like that!!!” Yuto says, pushing Wooseok in the arm.

 

A thoroughly offended Wooseok pushes him back.“Then you either better find someone else or go real quick!”

 

“Ugh, fine…” Yuto takes a deep breath before leaving the tent. The footsteps fade in the distance, leaving the group to try to fall asleep again.

**

Yuto comes back screaming about two minutes later, which is unusual since his voice is so deep. The scream is met with one from Jinho, who did so reflexively, and from Hyojong, who did so because he could.

 

“GUYS GUYS GUYS WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!” He says as he literally throws himself Superman-style horizontally into the tent. Yanan is justifiably freaked out at this point, holding onto a decisively wet Yuto.

 

“What’s going on??? What happened???” yells a groggy Hongseok.

 

“I went out to pee and all of a sudden it started raining and I thought I saw someone and then there was a scary sound so I ran all the way out here and guys we really have to go it isn’t safe out here!”

 

Hyojong lets out a snort from his tent, which is followed by a slap (probably from Hwitaek). From another tent, Changgu graons, “Come on you guys, it was just a story. Go to sleep!”

 

“No, no way. Nuh uh. I know it wasn’t. I couldn’t have imagined anything like what I saw. You weren’t there, hyung! You didn’t--”

 

A loud, eerie moan tears through the relative silence outside their tent. It’s closer now, and based on the sound there's a 85% chance it could be a ghost.

 

“...oh FUCK no.” Jinho spits out with his water. The entire campsite is moved to action; the action being mostly chaos. Shinwon is already trying to escape their tent with his sleeping bag wrapped around him like some sort of overgrown caterpillar. Jinho is (again) forcibly thrown from his position before he can get up by himself.

 

“I’M HECKIN OUTTA HERE!!!” Screams Yuto as he throws open the door to unlocked Shinwon's car.

 

“What about the tents???” Hwitaek says as he passes the others, who are also scrambling out of their own. Hyojong is towing him along at breakneck speed towards the cars.

 

“Screw it! We’ll get it when we can actually see!” Hongseok screams at the same time that Hyojong yells ‘We’ll get it when we aren’t gonna die!’.

 

After hearing three doors slam on his own car and thinking ‘fuck it, that’s enough people’, Hongseok tears out of the makeshift driveway like a bat out of hell. He doesn’t stop until they’re a good five minutes down the road, when he notices the headlights of the other car aren’t behind them.

 

“Guys…. What happened to the others?” He pales, though in the darkness it isn’t noticeable.

 

Jinho looks back from the passenger seat. “Oh shit….”

 

Another head pops up in his rearview mirror. “Do you think they made it out of there???”

 

Hongseok slams on the brakes, the car coming to a screeching halt. The two heads in the front seats both whip around at hospital-worthy speeds.

 

“Shinwon.... _what are you doing in my car_???”

Still in the makeshift driveway, the other seven members of their group are frantically yelling at each other. There’s no one in the driver’s seat and from what Hyunggu can tell in the darkness, Yuto is stretched across Hwitaek, Hyojong, and Changgu. Both he and Yanan are stuffed in the trunk and Wooseok is desperately yelling something at them from the passenger seat. Eventually, Yanan wrastles his way to the driver’s seat (since he’s the only one who knows how to drive stick), grabs the keys from the passenger side sun visor, and they take off after Hongseok’s car.

**

Jinho is having a certified not fun time.

 

It’s a miracle in and of itself that they make it to the address of the diner Shinwon texted them. They're covered in mud and twigs and need to take showers desperately, but at least they're all together and won't have to worry about finding someone in a thornbush the next morning. As they sit there, sullen, Hongseok picks up his head.

"Hey guys.... What are we gonna do now? We can't go back to the campsite." Jinho mentally says 'fuck' to himself before saying it out loud, the others groaning and cursing in agreement.

 

"We could just sleep in the car, I guess?" Hwitaek suggests. The idea is quickly shot down by Shinwon.

 

"I love you guys, but I don't love you all _that_ much. Could we even fit everyone in the cars?"

 

"Not with that attitude, we can't." Hwitaek fires back. The table goes quiet other than the sound of forks against plates.

 

They look at each other, waiting for someone to come up with a solution, and all of a sudden, Wooseok's face breaks into a wide smile.

 

"You know, I still haven't been to a hotel yet..."


End file.
